Life Stage
I'm Supporting Someone Who's Grieving
Someone you care about has lost a person, and you want to know what to say, what to do, and how to keep showing up.
Not sure where to start?
What's going on right now?
I don't know what to say
Most people worry about this, and simple usually works best. A few guidelines on what helps, what tends to land badly, and what to put in a card.
Is It Okay to Say "I'm Sorry for Your Loss"?
Whether it is okay to say 'I'm sorry for your loss,' why it works, how to add something personal, and what to do if you worry you said the wrong thing.
What Should You Never Say to Someone Who Is Grieving?
What not to say to someone who is grieving, why well-meant phrases hurt, what to say instead, and what to do if you have already said the wrong thing.
What Should You Write in a Sympathy Card?
What to write in a sympathy card, how long it should be, examples, whether to handwrite it, and when to send it.
I want to reach out but I'm not sure how or when
Reaching out matters more than doing it perfectly. These cover texting, calling, and what not to post before the family has shared the news.
Should You Text Someone After a Death?
Whether to text someone after a death, when a call or note is better, what a good text says, and what to do if they do not answer.
How Soon Should You Call a Widow or Widower?
How soon to contact a widow or widower, what to say, how long to talk, what help to offer, and what to do if you have waited too long.
Is It Okay to Post About Someone's Death Before the Family Does?
Whether to post about a death before the family does, how to tell the family has shared the news, what to do if they are not online, and what is fine to post afterward.
I want to help in a practical way
Practical help is often easier for a grieving family to accept than a long conversation. Here are ideas, and what to expect if you are attending the funeral.
Should You Bring Food After Someone Dies?
Whether to bring food after a death, what to ask first, how to make it easy for the family, and what to offer besides a casserole.
What to Send Instead of Flowers: Sympathy Gift Ideas
Thoughtful alternatives to sympathy flowers: how to follow the family's wishes, memorial donations and how to give safely, meals and practical help, notes and memories, gifts for children, what to avoid, and how families can ask for what they prefer.
Funeral Etiquette: What to Wear, What to Say, and What to Expect
Funeral etiquette for guests: what to wear, what to say, how to behave at the visitation, flowers and donations, photos, and following up.
The funeral was weeks ago and I'm not sure if they're okay
Support often drops off just as grief gets harder. Checking in for months, not just days, can mean a great deal.
How Long Should You Keep Checking on Someone After a Funeral?
How long to keep checking on someone after a funeral, why support fades, which dates matter most, and what a good check-in looks like.
What Should You Never Say to Someone Who Is Grieving?
What not to say to someone who is grieving, why well-meant phrases hurt, what to say instead, and what to do if you have already said the wrong thing.
Finding Grief Support: Counselors, Support Groups, and Community Resources
A practical starting point for finding grief support, including counselors, support groups, faith-based support, and free community resources.
It's a particular kind of loss, or a coworker
Some losses call for different words. These cover a miscarriage, a death by suicide, and a coworker's grief.
What to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone After a Miscarriage
How to support someone after a miscarriage: what to say, what to avoid and why, how to handle pregnancy announcements, how to help in practical ways, and how to keep showing up.
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Loved One to Suicide
How to support someone after a suicide loss: what to say, what to avoid and why, how to handle questions about how the person died, practical ways to help, remembering dates, and what to do if they mention thoughts of suicide.
How to Support a Grieving Coworker
How to support a grieving coworker or employee: what to say, what to avoid, practical ways to help, how managers can respond, supporting remote colleagues, and what to do when a coworker's loss is a colleague's death.
Articles for this stage
Funeral Etiquette: What to Wear, What to Say, and What to Expect
Funeral etiquette for guests: what to wear, what to say, how to behave at the visitation, flowers and donations, photos, and following up.
Read the guide →How Long Should You Keep Checking on Someone After a Funeral?
How long to keep checking on someone after a funeral, why support fades, which dates matter most, and what a good check-in looks like.
Read the guide →How Soon Should You Call a Widow or Widower?
How soon to contact a widow or widower, what to say, how long to talk, what help to offer, and what to do if you have waited too long.
Read the guide →How to Support a Grieving Coworker
How to support a grieving coworker or employee: what to say, what to avoid, practical ways to help, how managers can respond, supporting remote colleagues, and what to do when a coworker's loss is a colleague's death.
Read the guide →Is It Okay to Post About Someone's Death Before the Family Does?
Whether to post about a death before the family does, how to tell the family has shared the news, what to do if they are not online, and what is fine to post afterward.
Read the guide →Is It Okay to Say "I'm Sorry for Your Loss"?
Whether it is okay to say 'I'm sorry for your loss,' why it works, how to add something personal, and what to do if you worry you said the wrong thing.
Read the guide →Should You Bring Food After Someone Dies?
Whether to bring food after a death, what to ask first, how to make it easy for the family, and what to offer besides a casserole.
Read the guide →Should You Text Someone After a Death?
Whether to text someone after a death, when a call or note is better, what a good text says, and what to do if they do not answer.
Read the guide →What Should You Never Say to Someone Who Is Grieving?
What not to say to someone who is grieving, why well-meant phrases hurt, what to say instead, and what to do if you have already said the wrong thing.
Read the guide →What Should You Write in a Sympathy Card?
What to write in a sympathy card, how long it should be, examples, whether to handwrite it, and when to send it.
Read the guide →What to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone After a Miscarriage
How to support someone after a miscarriage: what to say, what to avoid and why, how to handle pregnancy announcements, how to help in practical ways, and how to keep showing up.
Read the guide →What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Loved One to Suicide
How to support someone after a suicide loss: what to say, what to avoid and why, how to handle questions about how the person died, practical ways to help, remembering dates, and what to do if they mention thoughts of suicide.
Read the guide →What to Send Instead of Flowers: Sympathy Gift Ideas
Thoughtful alternatives to sympathy flowers: how to follow the family's wishes, memorial donations and how to give safely, meals and practical help, notes and memories, gifts for children, what to avoid, and how families can ask for what they prefer.
Read the guide →When Your Child's Friend Dies
How to help your child when a friend dies: telling the truth, handling fear, the funeral, school, teenagers, and supporting the friend's family.
Read the guide →