Lao and Thai Funeral Traditions: What to Expect and How to Show Respect

Lao and Thai funerals share a Buddhist foundation and a strong role for monks and for making merit on behalf of the person who has died. This guide is for guests, coworkers, friends, and professionals, and for Lao and Thai families thinking about planning in the United States. It describes common practice, not a rule for every family. Published sources on Lao practice are thinner than those for Thai practice, and the guide says so where it matters.

Who is this guide about?

Lao and Thai Americans trace their families to Laos and Thailand, where most people follow Theravada Buddhism. The Library of Congress country study on Laos says virtually all lowland Lao were Buddhist, and that Buddhist ceremonies generally do not mark life-cycle events except death. Many Lao also keep animist customs, and small numbers are Christian. Many Hmong also come from Laos but have a distinct language, culture, and religion; see Hmong Funeral Traditions.

What do many Lao and Thai Buddhists believe about death?

Death is followed by rebirth in a life that fits one’s karma. The Library of Congress study explains that ordinary people can improve their karma by earning merit, called boun in Lao, through acts such as giving to monks. A Thai university study of end-of-life care describes a good, peaceful death as central to Thai Buddhist culture, with family members and nurses helping the dying person through care that is full of merit, prayer, and the family’s presence. Monks officiate at funerals in Lao communities, according to the Encyclopedia of World Cultures. See Buddhist Funeral Traditions for wider background.

What does a Thai funeral involve?

Wikipedia’s article on Thai funerals, which cites scholarly sources, describes the pattern. A bathing ceremony takes place shortly after death. The hair is combed ritually, and the body is dressed and placed in a coffin. Monks chant, traditionally at home but today usually at a temple (wat), in the evening for three, five, or seven days in a row. The body is then cremated at a temple crematorium, and the coffin may be carried around the crematorium three times, in an anticlockwise direction. Merit-making ceremonies are held on the 7th, 50th, and 100th days after the death.

What about Lao funerals?

Monks lead Lao funerals as well. A funeral-industry guide describes a procession led by monks, followed by nuns in white robes, family, the hearse, and friends, with male mourners sometimes shaving their heads. It says families hold memorial services afterward, especially at 100 days and one year. The same guide lists customs such as not killing animals for the funeral meals, not taking food home from the funeral, and keeping music, singing, and dancing to the ritual music during the funeral. An anthropological study of a Lao festival describes yearly rites in which people give to monks to transfer merit to the dead and “feed” them. Customs differ between families and regions of Laos, so ask the family.

How can I be a good guest?

Ask a family member or friend what to expect and what to wear, and follow the family’s lead. Plan for evening ceremonies that may last several nights. Offering help, such as bringing food for the monks or helping with the gathering, is often welcome. Do not assume Lao and Thai customs are the same: they are related, but not identical.

What should families planning a funeral in the United States think about?

Contact your temple early, since monks’ schedules matter, and ask whether it can support the ceremonies you want. Look for a funeral home that has served Lao or Thai families, and tell it your wishes about timing, evening chanting, and cremation. Ceremonies of several days affect cost, so ask for an itemized price; see Direct Cremation vs. Cremation With a Service. If the family wants a monk to visit a hospital or hospice patient, tell the care team early.

What doesn’t this guide cover?

• Ritual and religious detail, such as chants and the roles of monks, which belong to the community
• Lao-specific customs. We found few reliable published sources, and some details here come from a funeral-industry guide, so this part especially needs correction
• Christian, Muslim, and other Lao and Thai families, and Thai Muslim traditions
• Review by the community. This guide needs review by Lao and Thai community members and monks before it is promoted widely

Practices vary widely by community, family, and faith. This is general information, not religious or legal advice and not a substitute for the family’s own guidance. It has not yet been reviewed by members of the Lao and Thai community.