Funeral Songs and Readings: How to Choose

Music and readings are some of the most personal parts of a service, and some of the easiest to get stuck on, especially when you’re exhausted and the date is close. A few simple questions can turn it from an overwhelming task into a manageable one.

Who has a say?

Before choosing anything, ask the officiant, house of worship, or venue whether there are guidelines, and ask early, since some places want selections days ahead.

Some traditions are specific. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, explaining the Order of Christian Funerals, says funeral music should express the paschal mystery (Christ’s suffering, death, and triumph over death) and relate to the Scripture readings, and that popular secular songs aren’t appropriate in the liturgical setting. Some parishes suggest the funeral home or the reception as places for a beloved secular song, and some list psalms that are often used (one parish lists Psalms 23, 25, 27, 63, 103, 116, 122, 130, and 143). Other traditions have their own customs; see our guides to Catholic, Christian, Protestant, Sikh, and Quaker and Unitarian Universalist services, or humanist and secular ones, and ask the officiant what applies.

If there’s no religious framework, you have the most freedom, and the main limits are the venue’s equipment and time. See funeral, memorial, or celebration of life.

Where do music and readings fit in a service?

These are the usual moments. Not every service uses all of them, and the order varies:

• Before the service (prelude). Quiet music while people arrive, a good place for a favorite instrumental or a recording the person loved
• Processional and recessional. Music as the family enters and leaves
• Shared singing. A hymn or song everyone can join, which helps a room that doesn’t know what to do with its grief
• A reading or two. From sacred text, a poem, a letter, or something the person wrote
• A reflective moment. Music during a slideshow, a candle lighting, or a moment of silence
• At the committal. A short reading or a few notes of music at the graveside

You don’t need many pieces. A handful chosen with care usually works better than a long list.

How do I choose?

1. Start with what the person wanted. If they left notes, use them. If they filled in a plan, look for the music and readings sections; see should I start my own Final Day Plan now
2. Ask the family. Ask each close family member for one or two suggestions. You’ll often find overlap
3. Match the tone to the person. A service can be solemn, warm, funny, or all three. One piece that sounds like the person often matters more than ten that sound “appropriate”
4. Listen to the whole piece first. A song’s mood can change halfway through, and a few seconds of a favorite may land differently in a room of grieving people
5. Think about everyone in the room. If the family includes different faiths or none, a mix of an instrumental, a shared piece, and a personal reading can include everyone
6. Choose who performs. A friend or relative who sings or plays, a hired musician, an organist the venue provides, or a recording. If someone offers to perform or read, make sure they’re comfortable doing it, and have a backup
7. Keep it simple for the room. Readings should be short enough for people to follow, and for readers to deliver through tears

Where can I find readings?

• Sacred and traditional texts from the person’s faith. The officiant can suggest passages and, in some traditions, specific ones
• Words by the family. A letter, a short story about the person, a favorite recipe card read aloud. These are often what people remember
• Public domain works. In the U.S., works published before 1931 are in the public domain as of January 1, 2026, which means anyone can use them without permission. Some works can enter the public domain earlier, for example if they were published without a copyright notice, so check an established guide such as Cornell University Library’s chart, “Copyright Term and the Public Domain in the United States”
• Poetry organizations and libraries. The websites of major poetry organizations and your local library’s poetry section can help you browse by theme. We don’t reproduce poems here, so read candidates in full from a reliable source
• The funeral home or officiant, who may keep collections of readings for different kinds of services

Does copyright matter?

Mostly it matters if you record, stream, or print. Here’s the legal picture in general terms, not as legal advice:

• Performing music in the service. U.S. copyright law, 17 U.S.C. § 110(3), says performing a nondramatic literary or musical work (or a religious dramatic-musical work), or displaying a work, in the course of services at a place of worship or other religious assembly is not an infringement. A licensing organization says the exemption applies to any type of music played in the service, not just religious music. A funeral held somewhere else may not clearly fit
• Recording. Emory University Libraries says the exemption does not cover recording a performance, so permission is needed to record copyrighted music in a service
• Livestreaming and broadcasting. The legislative history says the exemption doesn’t extend to transmissions to the public at large, even if sent from a place of worship, and a licensing organization says a streamed service that includes copyrighted songs needs an internet streaming license. If you’ll livestream, ask the funeral home or venue whether it has the right licenses, or plan to stream the parts without copyrighted music
• Printing lyrics. The exemption covers performance and display, not copying (reproducing) the words. The safest approach is to print only titles and credits (for example, the song title, the writer or performer) in the program, and let people sing from a hymnal or from memory

What logistics should I handle?

• Give the officiant and funeral director a written list of selections, in order, with titles and who will perform each
• For recorded music, bring the file in the format the venue asks for, test it on their equipment, and name one person to operate it
• Give each reader a printed copy and tell them when they’ll speak, and make sure there’s a microphone if the room needs one
• Check the volume and clarity for people who are hard of hearing
• Keep a backup of every selection on a second device

What should I do next?

1. Ask the officiant or venue about any guidelines or deadlines
2. Collect suggestions from family, including anything the person left behind
3. Pick a few pieces for the key moments, and an alternate for each
4. Decide whether you’ll record or stream, and check the licensing before you do
5. Write the order of service with titles and credits only

Add this to your Final Day Plan: a short list of music and readings you’d want, including a song that makes people smile, so your family doesn’t have to guess.

If you’ll stream the service, see how to livestream a funeral for privacy and recording.

Religious guidelines differ by tradition and place, and copyright law is nuanced. This is general information, not legal advice; the officiant and funeral director can tell you what applies to your service.