Funeral Mass vs. Memorial Service: What Catholics Do Differently

Families new to planning a Catholic funeral often hear “funeral Mass” and “memorial service” used as if they were the same. The Church draws a real distinction, mostly about whether the body is present. Practices vary by parish and diocese. This article gives general guidance. Families should ask their own parish priest what applies.

Is a funeral Mass required for Catholics?

The Church’s funeral rites have three main parts, according to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops: the vigil, the funeral liturgy, and the rite of committal. The funeral liturgy is usually a Funeral Mass, and the rites also provide a Funeral Liturgy outside Mass. Talk with the parish priest about which fits your situation.

The bishops quote the Order of Christian Funerals: the Church “clearly prefers and urges” that the body be present for the funeral rites, because the presence of the body better expresses the values the Church affirms in them.

Can a memorial Mass happen without the body present?

If cremation takes place before the funeral Mass, the diocesan bishop may permit the cremated remains to be present at it. The bishops say this was allowed in the United States by a 1997 indult, and that the rites provide adapted texts for the sprinkling with holy water, the dismissal, and the committal of cremated remains. Ask the parish whether your bishop permits it.

The bishops also say that, ideally, cremation takes place after the funeral Mass, so the vigil and Mass can be celebrated with the body present, including the sprinkling with holy water, the placing of the pall, and incense. The rite of committal then follows cremation. Some funeral homes offer a rental casket with a cardboard liner for this.

What’s the difference between a vigil and the funeral Mass itself?

The vigil is a prayer service held in the presence of the body, during visitation or viewing at a church or funeral home, according to the bishops. The funeral Mass is the fuller rite.

What does a family actually decide?

Mostly practical choices with the priest: timing, whether there is a vigil, which readings and music, and who speaks. The homily is reserved to a priest or deacon, according to the Diocese of Trenton’s newspaper, and the Order of Christian Funerals says there is never to be a eulogy, according to Notre Dame’s Basilica policy. A Boston Archdiocese guideline says a brief homily is always given after the Gospel. The rites also provide for “words of remembrance” by a family member or friend: at the vigil, after the prayer after Communion at the Mass, or at a Funeral Liturgy outside Mass. Many parishes set limits. Notre Dame’s Basilica, for example, allows one speaker for two or three minutes at the Mass.

What does the Church say about the ashes afterward?

The cremated remains should be treated with the same respect as the body. The bishops quote the rite: they should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. Scattering them on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping them in a home, is not the reverent disposition the Church requires. The bishops add that pastors should show sensitivity to families for whom cremation is the only feasible choice.

What should I tell my family?

If you have a preference about cremation or burial, about whether your remains should be present at the Mass, or about readings and music, tell your family and parish. It gives them something concrete to work from with the priest.

Add this to your Final Day Plan: your preference on cremation versus burial and whether you would want remains present at the Mass, along with any readings or music that matter to you.

For choosing music and readings within the Church’s guidelines, see Funeral songs and readings: how to choose.

Specific practices can vary by parish and diocese. A parish priest or funeral coordinator can confirm what applies in a specific situation.