Armenian Funeral Traditions: What to Expect and How to Show Respect

Armenian funerals are shaped by the Armenian Apostolic Church and by a strong tradition of remembering the dead for years afterward. This guide is for guests, friends, and professionals, and for Armenian families thinking about planning in the United States. It describes the practice parishes publish, not a rule for every family.

Who is this guide about?

Armenian Americans trace their families to Armenia and to Armenian communities around the world, and most traditional Armenian funerals follow the Armenian Apostolic Church. Parish practice is similar across the United States, but each parish and family has its own habits, so use this as a guide and ask the family or the parish priest.

How is an Armenian funeral organized?

Parish websites describe the burial ritual in three parts. The wake service is held the night before the funeral, often at the funeral home, though families may use the church, and it is sometimes called the Dan Gark service. The funeral service is held in the church sanctuary, where prayers are offered for the soul of the person who has died and a eulogy is delivered. A shorter graveside or cemetery service follows. Friends and family may also speak at the funeral home or at the memorial meal.

What is the memorial meal?

After the funeral, the family typically hosts a memorial meal called the hokejash, often at the church hall, sometimes described as a “mercy meal.” It is a time for the community to gather, share food, and remember. Special military or organizational honors can be added at the church hall, and the church asks families to tell the church and the funeral home in advance if they want them.

What happens after the burial?

Remembrance continues for years. One parish describes a seventh-day requiem service on the Sunday after the funeral (Yotnorek), a requiem service forty days after the death (Karasoonk), a service on the first anniversary (Darelitz), and services on later anniversaries. The common requiem service is called the hokehankisd, or “repose of the souls.” Where there is a wake before the burial, one parish notes that the forty days are counted from the day of the funeral and burial. Under the church’s rules, requiem services are not held on five major feast days: Armenian Christmas, Easter, the Feast of the Transfiguration, the Feast of the Assumption of the Mother of God, and the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Families may also have madagh, blessed food or meat distributed to the poor, offered in memory of the person, and some parishes host a fellowship hour in memory of a loved one in place of flowers.

What about cremation?

The Armenian Church does not perform funeral services over cremated remains. In cases of cremation, a parish can hold a special memorial service (hokehankisd) in memory of the person. Families who are considering cremation should talk with their priest early, so they know what the church can offer. See Can Christians Be Cremated? How Denominations Differ.

How can I be a good guest?

Attend the wake or funeral if you can, and stay for the hokejash. Follow the family’s lead on dress and conduct in the church, and ask a member of the parish if you are unsure. Some parishes describe hosting a fellowship hour in memory of a loved one as a custom in place of flowers, so ask the family or the church office what would be welcome. Remembering the family at the fortieth day and the anniversary is a meaningful gesture.

What should families planning a funeral in the United States think about?

Call your parish priest as soon as you can. Parishes can give you a list of funeral homes if you do not have one. Requiem services on Sundays are generally arranged through the church office a few days ahead, so ask what the deadline is. Tell the parish and funeral home about any special honors. For choosing and comparing funeral homes, see How to Compare Funeral Homes and Understand Pricing, and for what clergy can help with, The Role of a Priest, Pastor, or Clergy Member in the Days After a Death.

What doesn’t this guide cover?

• Armenian Catholic and Armenian Evangelical traditions, which have their own practices
• Customs in Armenia and in other countries, which differ from U.S. parish practice
• Remembrance of the Armenian Genocide, which is an important part of Armenian communal memory but not a funeral custom
• Review by the community. This guide needs review by Armenian Apostolic clergy and community members before it is promoted widely

Practices vary widely by community, family, and faith. This is general information, not religious or legal advice and not a substitute for the family’s own guidance. It has not yet been reviewed by members of the Armenian community.