After a Suicide: What Families Face in the First Days

If someone you love has died by suicide, the first hours and days can bring a flood of strangers, questions, and decisions, on top of shock and grief. This guide explains what commonly happens so you know what to expect and what you’re allowed to ask. It doesn’t describe how anyone died, and it won’t try to answer “why.” We use Texas as a worked example because the rules are set by states and counties and differ across the country, so ask the people involved what applies where you live.

If you are having thoughts of ending your life, please call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or call 911 in an emergency.

What happens right away?

If there is any chance the person is alive, call 911. Otherwise, you’ll likely deal with law enforcement and possibly a medical examiner or coroner. AFSP’s practical guide for survivors explains that because suicide is considered an unnatural death, the authorities are required to investigate. It says that:

• Police may limit your access to the body, and to your home if that’s where it happened, until their initial investigation is complete
• Police will want to question you. You should cooperate, but you have every right to ask them to conduct their investigation quickly and sensitively
• You have the right to get all possessions the police take back once the investigation is complete

Having a trusted friend or relative with you to sit, listen, and take notes can help; you may be asked to repeat things.

What does the medical examiner or coroner do?

A medical examiner or coroner investigates the death, determines its cause and manner, and may be required to perform an autopsy, according to AFSP. Next of kin have the right to request a copy of the autopsy report. The title and structure vary: some places have a medical examiner’s office, some have an elected coroner, and some, such as many Texas counties, use a justice of the peace.

Texas as an example. Texas law requires a justice of the peace to conduct an inquest into a death that is a suicide, or where the circumstances indicate it may have been caused by suicide (Code of Criminal Procedure Art. 49.04). In counties with a medical examiner, Tarrant County’s office lists any suicide among the deaths that must be reported to it under Art. 49.25 of the same code. Whether an autopsy is done is decided by the examiner; one county medical examiner’s guidance says autopsy decisions are not mandated and are left to the examiner’s discretion. A Texas Department of State Health Services consent form notes that the family consent form isn’t required when an autopsy is ordered by a justice of the peace or medical examiner as part of an inquest. Manner of death is classified as natural, accident, suicide, homicide, or undetermined.

Can I see my loved one?

AFSP’s guide says you have the right to view the body, even if it has already been identified, and to ask the coroner or medical examiner for time alone with your loved one. It adds that the medical examiner or coroner may discourage viewing in some circumstances, on the grounds that the sight might upset you. That’s your decision to make; you may want to ask a funeral director or a trusted person what to expect before you decide. Some people find that seeing their loved one helps; others decide not to. Neither choice is wrong.

How does the death certificate work?

Because a death like this is investigated, the cause may not be known right away. In Texas, the Department of State Health Services’ registration handbook says that if the cause is pending investigation, the certifier enters “Pending Investigation” and the certificate is filed; only a medical examiner or justice of the peace can certify the cause and manner when a death is other than natural, and the certificate can later be amended by the original certifier. That means certified copies showing the final cause may take longer. You may need certificates for banks, insurers, and benefits; ask the funeral director what’s possible in the meantime. See getting death certificates.

What about funeral arrangements?

You can contact a funeral home early; it will coordinate with the medical examiner or coroner about when your loved one can be released. In Texas, the death registration handbook says the funeral director should notify the medical examiner or justice of the peace when the death falls under their jurisdiction. The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s guidelines note that funeral directors and others who have early contact with the bereaved can have a significant impact, for better or worse, and the Colorado health department points to a national guide, Supporting Survivors of Suicide Loss: A Guide for Funeral Directors, from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center and SPAN USA. You may choose a funeral home that treats you with compassion; it’s okay to ask how they work with suicide loss families.

What do I tell people?

That’s yours to decide. AFSP’s guide acknowledges that some survivors struggle with what to tell others, and says you should make whatever decision feels right to you. Alliance of Hope, which supports suicide loss survivors, tells people they don’t have to talk about anything just because someone asks. Some people share the cause, some say “died suddenly,” and some decide case by case. You can also choose a trusted person to pass along the news and fielding questions.

How can friends and family help?

AFSP’s guide gives practical suggestions for friends: keep a list of phone calls, visitors, and people who bring food and gifts; make calls to the people you want notified; keep the mail and bills straight; help with errands; and help with documents the insurance company needs, such as a copy of the death certificate. If someone asks how they can help, it’s fine to give them a specific task. See our guide on who to call first after a death.

What questions can I ask the police or medical examiner?

• Who is the investigator, and how can I reach them?
• When can I go back into my home, and when will my belongings be returned?
• Will there be an autopsy, and when will the results be available? How do I request a copy of the report?
• When can my loved one be released to a funeral home?
• Will the death certificate show “pending,” and how will I know when it’s final?
• Is there a victim advocate or other support person I can talk to?

How do I take care of myself and others?

Be prepared to talk about what happened many times in the first days and weeks, as AFSP’s guide notes, and don’t hesitate to say “I can’t talk about this right now.” Children may need explanations; see talking to children about death. Look after the basics: food, sleep, water. And know that your reactions, whether numbness, panic, anger, or relief, are responses to a shock. See why suicide loss feels different and coping with sudden or traumatic loss.

Where can I get support?

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, any time
• AFSP (afsp.org): practical guides for loss survivors and the Healing Conversations program, which connects you with another survivor
• Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors (allianceofhope.org): resources for new survivors and an online community
• Emergency: 911

See also what to tell people after a suicide or overdose, writing an obituary after a suicide or overdose, and life insurance after a suicide.

For how the offices differ, see Coroner vs. medical examiner: what’s the difference; if you believe the certificate is wrong, see how to correct an error on a death certificate.

For how autopsies work and how long results take, see Autopsy explained: when it’s done, who pays, and how long results take.

This is general educational information, not legal, medical, or mental health advice. Procedures for investigating a death, autopsy, viewing, and certificates vary by state and county; Texas is a worked example only. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 or call 911.