The 15 Decisions You'll Be Asked to Make After Someone Dies

Families are often surprised by just how many decisions surface in the first days after a death — some urgent, others that can genuinely wait. Here’s a scannable list of the most common ones.

1. Burial or cremation — often the first, foundational decision that shapes many others.
2. Which funeral home to use — worth comparing more than one if time allows.
3. Type of service — a traditional funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
4. Casket, alternative container, or shroud — not always a required purchase; see our guide on whether you actually need a casket.
5. Embalming or not — generally not legally required; refrigeration is a common alternative.
6. Open or closed casket, if a viewing is part of the plan.
7. Cemetery, plot, or final resting place for ashes.
8. Headstone or grave marker — this decision can usually wait, since markers are often installed months after burial.
9. Writing and publishing the obituary, including where.
10. Who officiates the service — clergy, a celebrant, or a family member.
11. Service details — music, readings, and who (if anyone) will speak.
12. Flowers or memorial donations — whether to request one, the other, or neither.
13. How many certified death certificates to order — often more are needed than families expect.
14. Who handles notifications — Social Security, banks, employers, and other institutions.
15. Who manages the estate and any probate process that follows.

Not everything needs an answer today

A handful of these — burial or cremation, and choosing a funeral home — typically need a decision within the first day or two. Others, like a headstone or working through probate, can genuinely wait weeks or months without creating problems. If a family feels overwhelmed looking at all 15 at once, it can help to know that spreading these out over time is completely normal, not a sign of falling behind.

If some of this was already decided in advance

Even a few of these questions answered ahead of time — burial versus cremation, a general sense of the kind of service wanted — meaningfully reduces the number of decisions a grieving family has to make from a blank slate. Our guide on documenting funeral and memorial wishes covers how to do this for your own future planning.

A visual alternative to this list

For families who find a grid more useful than a straight list, our Decision Matrix organizes many of these same questions by how urgently each one needs an answer — worth trying if this list feels like a lot to hold in your head at once.

Not every decision applies to every family or situation - a funeral home can help identify which of these genuinely need attention for a specific circumstance.