The 15 Decisions You'll Be Asked to Make After Someone Dies

Families are often surprised by just how many decisions surface in the first days after a death — some urgent, others that can genuinely wait. Here’s a scannable list of the most common ones.

What are the 15 decisions?

1. Burial or cremation - often the first, foundational decision that shapes many others.
2. Which funeral home to use - worth comparing more than one if time allows.
3. Type of service - a traditional funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
4. Casket, alternative container, or shroud - not always a required purchase; see our guide on whether you actually need a casket.
5. Embalming or not - generally not legally required; refrigeration is a common alternative.
6. Open or closed casket, if a viewing is part of the plan.
7. Cemetery, plot, or final resting place for ashes.
8. Headstone or grave marker - this decision can usually wait, since markers are often installed months after burial.
9. Writing and publishing the obituary, including where.
10. Who officiates the service - clergy, a celebrant, or a family member.
11. Service details - music, readings, and who (if anyone) will speak.
12. Flowers or memorial donations - whether to request one, the other, or neither.
13. How many certified death certificates to order - often more are needed than families expect.
14. Who handles notifications - Social Security, banks, employers, and other institutions.
15. Who manages the estate and any probate process that follows.

Do all 15 of these decisions need to be made right away?

No. A handful of these - burial or cremation, and choosing a funeral home - typically need a decision within the first day or two. Others, like a headstone or working through probate, can genuinely wait weeks or months without creating problems. If a family feels overwhelmed looking at all 15 at once, it can help to know that spreading these out over time is completely normal, not a sign of falling behind.

What if the person who died already documented some of these preferences?

This helps enormously - even a few of these questions answered ahead of time - burial versus cremation, a general sense of the kind of service wanted - meaningfully reduces the number of decisions a grieving family has to make from a blank slate. Our guide on documenting funeral and memorial wishes covers how to do this for your own future planning.

Is there a tool that helps organize these decisions by timing?

Yes - for families who find a grid more useful than a straight list, our Decision Matrix organizes many of these same questions by how urgently each one needs an answer - worth trying if this list feels like a lot to hold in your head at once.

Not every decision applies to every family or situation - a funeral home can help identify which of these genuinely need attention for a specific circumstance.