When Someone Is Killed: What Families Need to Know in the First Days

When someone you love is killed, the first days fill up with people and decisions you never expected to face. This guide explains who you will hear from, what happens at the medical examiner’s or coroner’s office, and how to arrange a funeral while an investigation is under way. Details differ by state and county, so treat this as a map and ask each office for its own rules.

Who will contact me, and what will they ask?

Police usually notify the next of kin, and a detective leads the investigation. A victim advocate from the police department or the prosecutor’s office is often assigned to families, and it is fine to ask each person for a name and a direct phone number. Identification is often done by photograph or by police at the scene, but in homicide cases some medical examiner offices ask the family to come in for an identification interview by appointment. Delaware County, Pennsylvania, says this about homicide victims specifically. Pick one family member to be the main contact and give that name to the medical examiner’s office, so calls don’t reach everyone at once.

Why does the medical examiner or coroner have the body?

Deaths that may involve a crime are investigated by a medical examiner or coroner, who determines how and why the person died, usually with an autopsy. The office has legal control of the body until the examination is finished. Coroner vs. Medical Examiner explains the difference, and Autopsy Explained covers what happens and who pays. In the offices checked for this guide, the examination is not billed to the family, and Denton County, Texas, says so directly. Anoka County, Minnesota, says an autopsy rarely delays release of the body, although final results can take weeks.

How do we arrange the funeral?

Choose a funeral home and tell the funeral director that the medical examiner or coroner is handling the death. The funeral home arranges the release once the examination is complete. See Choosing a Funeral Home Right After a Death if you need help. Most offices require a signed release from the legal next of kin, and the order of who counts is set by state law. In Texas, for example, only the nearest legal next of kin may sign. Right of Disposition Explained covers who decides.

Ask the office for an estimated release window, even if it cannot promise a date. Plan any viewing at the funeral home, not at the medical examiner’s building: Waukesha County, Wisconsin, does not allow viewing at its facility under any circumstances. A funeral home may bill separately for moving the body from the medical examiner’s office, as Tarrant County notes.

In homicide cases, clothing and personal property are sometimes held as evidence. Delaware County says clothing is not returned to the funeral home if it was given to law enforcement for testing, and Denton County notes the same can happen in homicides.

What about the death certificate?

The death certificate has two parts: the medical examiner completes the cause and manner of death, and the funeral home completes the rest and files it, as Waukesha County explains. The funeral home normally orders your first copies. If the cause of death is still pending, ask how that will appear and whether you can exchange copies later. New York City, for example, lets you exchange a certificate listing a pending cause within 90 days at no charge. See Getting Death Certificates for how many to order and how to get more.

What will it cost, and who can help pay?

The funeral costs the same as any funeral, and families often face it while unable to work. Every state runs a crime victim compensation program that can reimburse funeral and burial costs after a homicide, and its deadlines start early, so read Crime Victim Compensation: Help Paying for a Funeral After a Homicide soon. Our guide to Funeral Assistance Programs covers other sources of help.

How much will police and the medical examiner tell us?

Often less than you want, at least at first. Offices commonly limit what they share while an investigation is open. Oakland County, Michigan, does not release preliminary reports, and Anoka County, Minnesota, notes that homicide case information goes to law enforcement and the county attorney. The legal next of kin can usually request the final report later. A victim advocate can explain what to expect and pass your questions to detectives.

Where can I get support right now?

VictimConnect, a helpline funded by the federal Office for Victims of Crime, offers confidential emotional support and referrals. Call or text 855-484-2846, or use its online chat. The Office for Victims of Crime also publishes a brochure, Help Series for Crime Victims: Homicide, on what to expect as a survivor. A local victim/witness program can help with the justice process. For the emotional side, see Coping With Sudden or Traumatic Loss and Grief After a Homicide.