Victorian Mourning Customs: Why Widows Wore Black for Two Years

In the 1800s, grief had a dress code. How long you mourned, what you wore, and even what jewelry you could put on depended on your relationship to the person who died. These customs shaped how Western societies think about mourning, and some of them survive today.

What was Victorian mourning?

It was a set of social rules for how to grieve in public. A historian told UC Berkeley that these rules gave mourners a social identity: you could tell by someone’s clothes not only that they were in mourning, but how long they had been and how they were related to the person who died. The rules applied mostly to women, and they covered clothing, social life, and even household items. The Australian Museum notes that servants and children were expected to follow them too.

How long did people mourn?

A widow mourned for about two years. The Australian Museum says she was allowed to wear gray and lavender only in the last six months, called “half mourning.” The first stage, “full mourning,” lasted a year and a day. Children in middle-class families wore full black for one year after the death of a parent or sibling. Other relatives might mourn for only a few weeks, depending on how close they were.

What did mourners wear?

A widow wore black from head to toe. The most typical fabric was black crepe, a dull, flat fabric. The Australian Museum notes that shiny materials such as satin, velvet, and fur were forbidden in deep mourning. Women’s mourning clothes included everything: dresses, hair accessories, umbrellas, fans, and purses. Men usually added only a black hat band or gloves. After the first year, silk could replace crepe, and after two years, a widow could wear other colors.

What role did Queen Victoria play?

A very large one. Prince Albert died in 1861, and the Queen went into deep mourning that lasted until her own death in 1901. Her example increased public demand for black crepe and jet jewelry. The Berkeley article notes that she had a bust or painting of Albert included in every photograph taken of her afterward. Her long grief helped make heavy mourning fashionable in Britain and in America.

What were mourning jewelry and hair art?

Keepsakes made from the body or in memory of the person. The Berkeley article mentions jewelry made of the dead person’s hair, death masks, and even funeral teapots. The University of Rochester notes that people made hair into wall art, wreaths, and jewelry, and that funerals were often held at home with the body on view for a few days. Black jet became the popular stone for mourning jewelry after Albert’s death.

Why did these customs fade?

The First World War brought an end to elaborate Victorian-style mourning in the British Commonwealth, according to the Australian Museum. The customs had also been expensive for families. Crepe was thought unlucky to keep in the house after the mourning period ended, so each new death meant buying more.

What remains of Victorian mourning today?

The idea that black is the color of grief, for one thing. See Why Do We Wear Black to Funerals? for the longer story, and Why Do Some Cultures Cover Mirrors After a Death? for another old custom. The Victorian belief that grief should be visible and shared also echoes in how we remember loved ones now, a theme explored in How Have Funerals Changed Over the Last 100 Years?.