Kate Bowler on Living With Incurable Cancer and the Search for a Reason

Kate Bowler is a historian of religion who became known for writing about her own incurable cancer. Her work asks what to say, and what not to say, when someone is seriously ill. This article describes her story and her writing. It does not report on her current health. Her books and essays are copyrighted and are described here, not reproduced.

Who is Kate Bowler?

A professor at Duke Divinity School who studies the history of religion in America. Duke’s biography says her work on the prosperity gospel, the belief that faith brings health, wealth, and happiness, has been featured in major newspapers and magazines. Her 2013 book Blessed was described by Duke as the first history of that movement.

What happened to her?

In 2015, at 35, she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. According to a library description of her memoir, she had endured months of stomach pain and conflicting advice from specialists before she was rushed into emergency surgery. Duke notes that her life had seemed “blessed” at the time: a thriving career, a marriage to her high school sweetheart, and a newborn son. A Macalester College profile says she was given less than a year to live. Her memoir describes being accepted as a genetic match for a clinical trial of chemotherapy and immunotherapy, and a library blurb says she exclaimed that she had “the magic cancer.”

What did she write?

First an essay, then a memoir. Her New York Times essay “Death, the Prosperity Gospel and Me” appeared on Valentine’s Day, 2016. It grew into the 2018 memoir Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved, published by Random House. A publisher description says the prospect of her own death forced her to see that she had quietly been living by the prosperity gospel’s belief that she could control the shape of her life. She wrote another Times essay in January 2018 titled “What to Say When You Meet the Angel of Death at a Party.” Later books include No Cure for Being Human, according to the Macalester profile. She also hosts a podcast, Everything Happens.

What does she say about comforting phrases?

That some of them hurt. On NPR’s Fresh Air in February 2018, host Terry Gross listed things Bowler does not want to hear about her incurable cancer: that everything happens for a reason, that God is writing a better story, that heaven is her true home, and that God needs another angel. Bowler said she had to rethink “what trust and hope looks like.” The interview’s title describes her way of living as “scan to scan,” from one set of test results to the next.

What does this mean for people supporting someone who is ill?

Phrases meant to comfort can land badly, and Bowler’s list is one person’s experience. Preferences differ, so asking what helps is better than guessing. Her writing does not give a single script. For practical guidance, see What to Say to Someone Who Is Dying and Anticipatory Grief.

Where can I learn more?

See When You Know You’re Dying, What Makes Life Worth Living?, Can We Still Find Meaning When We Cannot Change What Is Happening?, and Words for a Mortal Life.