Jewish Funeral and Mourning Traditions: Burial, Shiva, and More

Jewish burial and mourning customs are among the most structured of any major tradition, though how closely a family follows them varies by movement and personal practice.

Before the funeral

Jewish tradition emphasizes treating the body with great respect. A chevra kadisha (burial society) traditionally prepares the body through ritual washing and dressing in simple linen shrouds. Burial is generally preferred as soon as reasonably possible, often within 24 hours, though Shabbat and Jewish holidays can delay this.

Cremation is not permitted under traditional Jewish law, and Orthodox communities generally do not accept it. Reform and some Conservative communities vary; this is worth discussing directly with a rabbi if it’s relevant to your family’s situation.

The funeral service

Jewish funeral services are typically brief, held at a synagogue, funeral home, or graveside, and include psalms, a eulogy, and the memorial prayer El Malei Rachamim. Caskets are traditionally simple, unadorned wood, reflecting the value that everyone is equal in death.

Shiva and the mourning periods

Jewish mourning unfolds in stages:

• Shiva — seven days immediately following burial, traditionally observed at home. Mourners often sit on low stools, mirrors may be covered, and visitors come to offer comfort rather than requiring the family to entertain.
• Sheloshim — the thirty days following burial (including shiva), a period of continued, gentler mourning with a gradual return to routine.
• Avelut — for the loss of a parent specifically, a fuller mourning period traditionally extending to twelve months, including reciting the Kaddish prayer.

What to expect if you’re attending

• A traditional greeting to a mourner is often simply sitting with them, rather than a cheerful “hello”
• Bringing food to a shiva house is a common and appreciated gesture
• Dress modestly and conservatively

If this is your own planning

If specific customs matter to you or your family — burial society involvement, particular prayers, or who should be contacted — writing them down now makes it much easier for your family later. Our Final Day Plan has a section for exactly this.

Practices vary by community, tradition and family. Everendium provides general guidance and encourages families to consult their faith or community leaders where appropriate.